I wanted to start a blog.  Something that I could share with Lily someday.  Something that will help family and friends know what we are doing, and the journey Lily will go through with her cleft lip. 

We went in to have an ultrasound on Jan. 26, 2012.  This was our 20 week anatomy scan that would tell us if we were about to give Jackson a baby brother or sister!  I was so excited and nervous all at the same time.  I was up the whole night before.  I think I thought there was going to be something "wrong".  It was so strange.  The whole pregnancy I was sure I was having a little girl, but about an hour before our scan I was convinced we were having a boy.  I was googling boy names because I was so sure.  So we go in for our scan.  Jackson was with us.  I wanted the ultrasound tech to tell him what we were having and then him to tell us.  We video taped him telling us.  We are having a baby sister.  I was so very excited!  A little girl to go shopping with.  A little girl to go get our nails done together with.  A little girl to watch her get dressed up to go to prom.  A little girl to one day watch marry the man of her (and her Mom and Dad's) dreams.  A little girl to watch someday become a Mommy too.  I was "tickled pink"!  As the tech was doing my scan I noticed she was really looking at the face for a long time.  With our family history of clefts I was very worried.  We got in the car after we were done and I looked at Dave and said, "she looked at the face for a long time".  He just said, "I know".  We were both worried.  I waited through the weekend and on Monday called my OB's office.  They went through the entire report of the scan.  The last thing was "other concerns" and the nurse said they suspect a cleft palate.  My stomach dropped.  I was so scared.  They told me I needed to go in to a perinatologist and have a level 2 scan done.  I made my appointment and had to wait a week for it.  That was a crazy hard week.  So many things go through your head.  But then came the day.  Feb. 1, 2012.  We went to see the Perinatologist.  I was so nervous!  We had to take Jack with us because he had gotten sick earlier in the day.  We went in.  The Dr. was very impersonable.  Not what an expecting momma needs for sure.  He was going over all the major organs.  Both hemisphers of the brain look good.  Four chambers of heart look good.  Two kidneys look good, lungs look good.  Bladder intact.  Stomach looks good.  Cord blood vessels look good.  Then he hovers over the face.  And he is looking...........and looking...... and looking.  He says, "yep, she has a bilateral cleft lip".  I said WHAT?  I was expecting to hear she has a cleft palate, I never expected anything with a lip.  And he was just so non shulant about it.  I looked over at Dave and he just grabbed my hand.  I just started to cry.  They gave us the number to Children's Mercy Cleft Team (which I know very well seems I work in the same clinic, ha) and sent us on our way.  I have never felt so sick in my life.  All of those things that I had hoped and dreamed for with a little girl, would they come true?  Would she grow up being made fun of?  Would anyone ever ask her to prom?  Would anyone want to marry her and have children with her?  I knew that my faith was going to have to pull me through.